You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
