Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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