You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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