I seem to have left my pride at pride
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize