The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
