Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
