Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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