How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
