Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
