all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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