Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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