PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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