I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
