Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
