Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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