Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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