I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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