I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
