Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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