with your own penis?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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