I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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