so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
