glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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