My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize