dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
