she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
