did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
