Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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