can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
