im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
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