i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
