What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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