i already hear my dad disowning me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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