you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
