I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
