In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
