"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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