I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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