I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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