i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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