Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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