those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
