Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize