Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
