I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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