im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
