allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
