They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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