my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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