I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My ass is underappreciated
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
