so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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