glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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