I wannas sexs uuuuu
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
