can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
