You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
