I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
