wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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