She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
