just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
