Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize