Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
